Sophia’s Voice

Meltdowns.. Although they may resemble tantrums, are an entirely different thing.

Let’s talk about tantrums. Every child I’ve ever encountered has one at some point. My typically functioning three year old probably has at least one a day in this stage of his life. At the mention of the very word every mother who has ever mothered shutters in fear and is probably taken back to “that one time..” Maybe you were in the toy isle and refused to give in and purchase an expensive toy or you said no to ice cream because it was too close to bedtime. The moment the word “no” rolls off your lips it’s met with screams, crying, maybe a little kicking if the child is really angry. I’ve been there and mama, it’s not fun.

A meltdown is an intense response to overwhelming circumstances. Meltdown’s may look a bit different for every person on the spectrum. Once the individual becomes overwhelmed they may cry, scream, become physically combative, head bang, elope, and even may attempt to self harm. The severity also may very depending on the circumstance.

My daughter has experienced meltdowns that have lasted for hours and she has experienced meltdowns that have subsided within 30 minutes. She does not have to be told “no” or feel as if she isn’t getting her way for a meltdown to show its ugly face.

When Sophia was four years old I took her to see Disney on Ice. If you know My daughter it is no secret that she LOVES Disney. I mean, it is her one true love. When the show began the overhead lights dimmed and beautiful multicolor lights danced across the ice. Sophia was so excited when princesses began to enter the arena and music began to play. Her uncontainable joy and laughter faded quickly and was replaced with tears, shrill screams, and an urge to run away. I scooped her up in my arms and carried her up the flight of stairs (She was much lighter back then, thank goodness!) and into the hallway to give her a break. She wanted so badly to watch the performance, but the moment we attempted to go back to our seats.. she became overstimulated and began to meltdown. I must have carried my screaming, crying, kicking child up those stairs six times, at least. Both exhausted, we finally sat down in the floor in an entryway.

We watched the remainder of the show from that spot. Sophia would smile, cry, and hide her face in my chest.. but I knew she enjoyed the performance. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? For a child to scream and cry because they enjoy something too much? Autism Spectrum Disorder affects the part of the brain that is responsible for regulating emotions. Now factor in loud music, bright colorful lights, being surrounded by strangers, and seeing her absolute favorite Disney characters from a distance. It was just too much for her to process all at once. Fortunately, as Sophia has gotten older she has learned healthier ways to respond to overwhelming emotions and stimulation. These coping skills are something she has had to work very hard to master.

If I could give one piece of advice to an autism mom who finds herself managing a meltdown or even to an individual who may witness a meltdown, it would be to always remember this fact. A child having a meltdown is not giving you a hard time, that child is having a hard time. Meet them with patience, understanding, and above anything else.. love.